Shit, my jacket!
Calice!
It's about time!
Toronto can bring it! We'll show them how...
That's a good one!
Good news! No overtime tonight!
I found you one with no GPS and no alarm system.
Anyone need a phone cable, some Kleenex or a teddy bear?
I'll take the cable.
Give Steve the teddy and the Kleenex.
He just got dumped!
I'm undercover! What are you doing here?
I know.
What are you doing here, on my turf?
The big boss isn't here. None of the key players are!
What are you doing?
It's not enough. It won't work.
These guys don't trust anyone!
I think so.
Put your guns on the ground, or he's dead! Now!
Guns on the ground!
You, get over there! I don't want anyone behind me!
Nobody behind me! Got it?
Lower your guns! Get that fucking gun down!
Away from the truck! I said no one behind me!
I want to see hands!
You drive!
Fuck de shit de calice de fuckin' tabarnak!
Your French isn't rusty at all!
Who tipped you off?
DiPietro and Dubois never go there.
All they do there is deactivate the cars' GPS and alarm systems
before sending them to the main garage.
No, there's something bigger going on!
I'm sure of it. I've been on them for a year.
We can go at them harder, but I have to go back in.
I'm not working for you, I'm working with you.
It'll still work.
OK, we'll say that you disarmed me, we fought,
you lost control of the vehicle and I got away.
It has to look real, though,
as if the airbag went off in your face.
That's good!
That'll work!
You haven't changed at all.
Come on, don't be scared!
This isn't my first rodeo!
What have you done?
My jacket! Ow! You freaking maniac!
You really have changed!
My love, put it down, please!
Be good to not get shot twice in one night!
What are you doing here?
Oops!
Sorry, Mrs. Bouchard.
Dad!
- Dad! - Hello!
I'm taking you to the hospital!
No!
- Get me the first-aid kit! - No!
They have to think I spent the night outside, in hiding!
You want to help?
Get me three coffees and a stack of napkins!
- You, Louis-Philippe! - Louis-Martin.
It's OK.
Mr. Bouchard didn't mean it. He's hurt and under pressure.
You, give me your hoodie and get me some speed.
You have half an hour.
Whoa, Mr. Bouchard,
I don't know who you think I am, but I have no idea where to find...
Oh, yeah!
OK, I might know a guy
who knows a guy who I know...
What are you doing?
Coffee! Napkins!
I'm on it!
I know what I'm doing.
Litter needs cleaning.
Last night, during a police raid
of a known Italian crime boss's garage of stolen cars,
a police officer was taken hostage
by one of the scumbags that he was trying to arrest.
He's with us this morning.
Perhaps he has something to say this morning.
Mr. Ward, Poirier, Claude.
How did a low-level scumbag
manage to kidnap a highly trained officer like yourself?
When we entered the garage,
we were surprised by the push back we encountered.
Many of them were armed.
Didn't they teach you how to deal with that
at the Ontarian Nicolet,
that sometimes criminals might be armed?
I'm sorry, but I don't know... Who's Nicolet?
Do you want me to "conti-news" in English?
No, that's all right!
But could you please speak a little more slowly?
Is this my stag party?
Calice!
Can you tell your monkey here
that he only needs to hit me if I won't talk?
He doesn't seem to understand the rules!
When we got busted last night, things got crazy.
I managed to disarm one of them and kidnapped him.
He made me drive to the Old Port.
I was afraid he was going to kill me and leave me there.
I braked suddenly,
and he hit the back of the seat.
I dropped the gun. Punched him in the head.
He lost control of the truck, and I jumped.
When I got out of the vehicle,
he was running, so I shot at him.
Luckily, he only winged me. So, I kept on running.
You don't want to know what my night was like!
I didn't want to take a chance by going somewhere and getting pinched,
so I spent the night outside.
I stole a hoodie off a bum,
pounded a few cups of coffee, `cause I knew it'd be a long night.
I made myself a nice Band-Aid with some napkins.
All I could find for the pain was some ecstasy.
You're a hero!
When I first saw you,
I thought, "Here's just another Anglo,"
but you're much more than that.
Thank you.
This is the composite sketch of the scumbag.
If you see him, call my voicemail and leave it a message.
10-4!
You little prick!
Looks real, Boss.
Doc, go easy when you pull the bandage off.
What's he doing with that?
What's he doing?
Loaded with caffeine. Amphetamines, too.
He needs stitches.
Thanks, Michel.
Call me Michel one more time, and I'll rip your head off.
Michel, I'll have a scotch with just one ice cube, please.
Thanks, you won't regret it.
Where's that scotch, Michel?
It's not the Ritz, but your neighbours are cute!
After last night, we're changing things up.
- What do you mean? - Deliver right to the main garage.
We need 25 cars in 5 days.
25 in 5? We just lost half our team!
I've got new guys starting tonight.
The deadline is new. What's the deal?
It's none of your goddamn business!
- You're early! - I'm doing the day shift.
I thought no guys were allowed upstairs!
He's your roommate for the week.
You can put him in my room if he's afraid to sleep alone.
I don't bite.
And I like bad boys!
Your rockstar suite.
Are you the one I call for room service?
Don't touch my girls.
You owe me a pick-up truck. I want it by 3:00.
Are you fucking kidding me?
There's no time for your jokes.
It's OK.
You didn't have to go that far, but it worked. They believed me.
I was scared shitless.
I thought they were going to kill me!
And thanks for the composite sketch!
It was so good, I had to...
Federal gets quite the budget!
We'd be two of us in a garden shed with an iPhone 4.
He's been working for the Caprese family forever.
But I was recruited by Mike Dubois.
It's only been three months
since DiPietro showed up and started running things.
That's why he wants a side business.
I tried explaining it to you, but then you started shooting at me.
They've been talking about a client for a while.
I don't know what or who it is, but I know it's big.
The only change is the deadline: they want 25 cars in 5 days.
And we're not going to the transit warehouse anymore.
We go straight to the main garage.
Here's the address.
I know, but how--
And you'll hear me when I talk?
That was some reunion!
What are the odds that you'd raid the spot I was working undercover?
And you? How's the family?
And Jonathan?
You want me to find him?
Kids aren't easy.
Gabrielle is living in my old apartment upstairs.
It would be, if it weren't for Cousin Itt.
- Cousin Itt? - Her boyfriend.
It's like all he does is grow hair.
It's hard to tell if he's speaking or burping.
Gabrielle's good. She applied to Nicolet.
All right, I have to go!
I only have a couple hours to find a pick-up truck.
So you'll be in my head 24/7?
The Ontarian grew a sense of humour!
You've changed, man! I'm worried about you!
You're full of shit! That's not Price's truck!
You don't believe me? Check out what was inside!
His new mask!
Check it out! It's awesome!
Price is a man of few words. Now he'll be speechless for months!
Listen to this! You'll die laughing!
The whole building heard your story already.
And you'll tell it 40 more times anyway!
You're a ray of sunshine!
You should do ads for orange juice!
You have to bring his mask back! He'll be off his game without it!
You want me to go up to him after practice and say:
"Excuse me, Mr. Price.
"I stole your truck, and this was inside.
"I know goalies are as superstitious as bingo ladies,
"so I brought it back so you don't end up puking everywhere."
- Put it in the mail. - I'll bring it to him.
- You think I'd give it to you? - Sure!
In two weeks, I'll find it at the flea market!
He once sold his sister's washer and dryer...
for three mags!
What are you gonna do with three mags?
The eyes aren't right.
That's good!
I'm sure they were the big clients I was telling you about.
They were so young, though! The oldest might've been 25.
Because there's a demand! There's a market for everything.
Then, I'm surprised there's no high-school-diploma pushers in Quebec!
Come on, goddammit!
You think you're so cool with your shitty firewall!
If I shove this up your ass, what will you do?
That's MC, our computer whiz.
MC, David.
Some cowboy move, stealing Price's truck,
but I like your style.
You and me are going to make a fucking dangerous team!
- A team? - That's right!
I'm your eyes, your ears, your hands, your everything!
But what I'm trying to do -
what I will do, goddammit -
is hack into the system at the Sopranos' garage.
I can see in that look you're wondering how, right?
Ho no. That's not what I'm wondering.
Who has poles and wires everywhere?
Who?
Bell and Hydro-QuÃ©bec.
If I hack into their system and bypass it...
I've got cameras!
Who's the boss? Who's the genius?
Take that, Steve Jobs!
I'll give you my Macintosh!
Take that!
Ho yeah, Bill Gates? You thought you knew everything?
All right! As of now, we're a team!
I need help with the computers. Their security is tight.
I don't know anything about computers.
It's easy. Just take pictures of their system.
Computers, wiring, external hard drives, modems...
Whatever you can. Name it.
Sure. Hello, Minnie Mouse? I'm undercover, you know.
You think I can walk around snapping pictures with my phone?
He's cute. You're cute.
I need your help.
Can you get this back to Carey Price?
If they start losing because of it,
the city will go nuts, and people will lose their jobs!
Sorry, my mistake.
Leafs fan. I can't trust you with this!
Is there anyone from Montreal here?
Anyone?
I can't find the words.
To keep you motivated, Sylvio has doubled everybody's fee.
If you think you're being followed, don't come here.
Ditch the car and call me at the bar.
Don't call my cell. Is that clear?
What if we're arrested?
That's DiPietro.
What happens when you're not a nice guy?
Is this a bad time?
No, I just wanted to ask Mike
if he had any special requests.
Yeah, I'll print them up.
He's moving too much.
I can't get a decent frame.
OK, David, I don't want to be a bugger, but go...
Sure.
It's the pain. It's like an electric shock sometimes.
Give the Miatas to the new guys. I want the high-paying stuff.
Just grab the paper and get to it!
OK, David, just get me a shot from behind the computer.
No! What is he doing? I don't wanna see that guy's face.
- Is there a problem? - Fuck that guy!
A big problem.
You can do it! Come on, David!
Perfect, OK!
That's the good stuff! Get closer! Closer!
What are you doing?
Yes! We got it!
Tabarnak! It took you long, bud!
Michel...
Do I need to make a spare key every time I bring you a car?
Thanks, Boss. Thanks, Michel.
Can you ask your over-excited poodle to stop barking while I'm working?
It's weird. Mike gave me the same list as last week.
No way. I have to get at least one car tonight.
Meet me in an hour at Ste-Catherine and Crescent.
Whenever you're ready.
Good evening!
Welcome to... 5!
Have a good night!
Thanks.
Let's do it again tomorrow!
What's up with that look? Are you my barback tonight?
I have a little side gig going with the symphony.
You don't like it?
- I'll have a Jack and Coke. - You sure you don't want a martini?
Martin, can you hear me?
Wake up!
The three clients are at the bar.
It's too risky for me.
Do it quick!
That's right, I talk to my penis.
I've even given him a name: Martin.
I don't give a damn! Do what you want.
Just don't ask me to introduce you to mine.
I'll be at the bar if you change your mind.
Mike wants me to take care of them.
- Who are they? - I don't know.
I don't ask questions,
as long as they tip well and take it easy on the groping.
Gina? Jen? Can I have another? This one's empty.
A double. And three more for my friends over there.
What are you doing?
Jen, do you have any matches?
Uh-oh! They're angry!
Don't worry, it's just liquid! Dry it off with your turban!
- Get the hell out! - I'll take care of it.
- Come on! - What are you doing, man?
Go home and come back tomorrow.
- That way? Tomorrow? - Good night!
Listen, big shot!
Is he still here?
You guys can't tell me what to do in my own--
Do you have a light?
I'm going inside.
You sure about that?
- What are they doing there? - They're American.
Yeah, and I'm Japanese.
On Saturdays, I put on my flip-flops and make sushi at the mall.
They're all at the same university.
- What system did you hack into? - None.
They're all properly enrolled.
They're even listed in our official database
as humanitarian observers and consultants.
- For who? Crooks Without Borders? - That's not a real thing.
Thanks, Princess Leia.
Fuck, this is heavy!
What next?
Are the KGB and Scotland Yard on their way
for middle management like DiPietro?
Great. Keep me posted.
What tip?
Yeah, and?
How much did you tip him?
I want my change.
- You're $5 short. - No!
You should be in AA. Or maybe in CC...
Here! Swap this out!
You seem to think I work for you.
I'm sorry. Didn't I explain this to you?
Federal...
provincial.
That's not the best way to talk to a separatist with anger issues!
Watch your mouth, young man!
This morning, my endocrinologist told me I wasn't the right sex!
My testosterone level is abnormally high:
women are at 2, men are at 7,
and I'm a fucking 9.2!
At least she's seeing a professional.
Have a nice day!
Hello! Can I take your order?
Yes, I'd like the surf and turf,
a baked potato with foie gras
and a glass of red wine, please.
Dad! OK, anything else?
I needed to see your face.
- Are you ready for your exam? - Yes, I'm ready.
Nervous, but ready.
Let's go over the steps involved in a civilian intervention.
Dad, I'm ready!
Approach, identification, questioning, listening,
situation analysis, conflict resolution.
And if you can't resolve the conflict?
I'll do what you'd do: make up a law or pull my gun.
Very funny!
I'm ready, Dad.
I know you are. If I passed it, then you'll ace it.
Thanks.
- Let's go, moron! - Calm down!
There are 40 different donuts! I need a minute to choose!
- Dad! - I don't have all day!
Drive up to the first window, please.
$4.75.
Can you do me a favour? Buy some ice cream for your mother.
- Honey-lavender. - Gross.
I can't believe that even exists. They need a bacon and ribs flavour.
Smile!
- You're beautiful. - You too.
But I don't miss your biker look.
I don't believe you! You love bad boys!
How'd you do that?
I have an in with your tenant.
I knew I was right to remarry you!
You're the perfect man:
you're never here, so you feel bad and do cute things like this!
Hang on.
You OK?
No. This is tough.
I know, my love.
- But it's almost over. - It's never over.
Sometimes I wonder why I do all this,
just to catch a couple crooks.
Then the trial will take years,
and if any evidence gets thrown out, the whole thing goes down the drain!
Can you put my husband on?
My man never talks this way.
- Do you know him? - No. What's he like?
He's a stubborn bastard with a bad temper,
but he's the bravest, most honest, most determined man there is.
Go on.
He's an alpha male.
He doesn't quit until he wins.
I should know. He won me over twice!
I don't deserve you!
I know.
What are you doing?
Stop it! You're hot even when you're being ridiculous!
Really?
What are you doing?
- Are you there? - Yes, I'm here, my love.
Sorry, it was work.
That's a lie. I'm not at a motel.
I know! You wouldn't be a good undercover cop with me.
OK, I'll let you go. I want to enjoy my ice cream.
You're so mean!
Watch this.
There's something strange here.
Boss! Come here! We've got something!
They only put their guns down after he says something into his mic.
Check this out!
But then he mutters something else.
Right here.
I'm a big boy. It's been a year, and I'm fine.
We just need a break, and it'll all come together!
What?
At least I can teach her something `cause she still talks to me!
My boss?
It's true. He is your boss!
- Shut up! - Ta yeule!
Yeah?
OK. I'm on my way.
He has problems with authority. Like me.
You wanted to talk, Boss?
- We need you to do a... - I wasn't talking to you.
...a delivery to Maine, the Mustang.
- Hurry and you'll be back tonight. - Give it to a kid.
If I'm in Maine, I can't steal cars, and I can't make money.
- OK, let's go. - Excuse me?
Michel...
you said "let's."
Sometimes "let's" excludes the speaker,
but it sounded like you meant both of us.
You can't do this to me!
There's no way we'll agree on music.
I bet he listens to dance music.
- You look like a dance-music guy. - What?
Hostie, he does listen to dance!
Thanks, Boss. Thanks, Michel.
The keys?
Are they in the usual place?
Hey, General! You decided to swing by?
I'm touched. I really appreciate it.
Everything's fine. Otherwise, the little guy would be with me.
You're so possessive!
Let's try something.
Yeah, I'm here. The rendezvous point is an old truck stop.
Looks fine, but the client isn't here.
There's police everywhere. He won't show up right away.
OK, but I really have to piss.
Yes, Dad!
Yes, bitch! I've got you!
Look, Boss! We've got their computer's camera and mic!
They're going to blow up the car by satellite! That's brilliant!
Yes, Dad! I lifted the seat and washed my hands.
Make up your mind, Dad!
What?
Wait! What satellite?
I can't leave the car here. There's a ton of people around!
Fuck, David! Calice!
Cops!
- I don't know. - You don't know?
The GPS is starting a countdown!
- Turn off their computer! - I can't!
Martin, can you hear me?
I'm fine. I'm not hurt.
And no one--
Don't yell, goddammit! I have sensitive eardrums!
Where are you from?
United Stupids of America? Or South Moronia?
You fucking dumbass!
Yep! Damn sure!
Did you really think they'd let me go
because you flashed your little Canadian police badge?
You're so naÃ¯ve!
You haven't become a Jehovah's Witness, have you?
I was driving a car that exploded
in the country with the most terrorist threats in the world!
Now, instead of just me being stuck here, we both are!
Good job!
Ladies and gentlemen, my partner, Martin Ward!
You know. Don't rub it in.
Definitely!
It's brilliant: you disseminate stolen cars all over the States
and simultaneously blow them up!
What do we do if we get out?
Is it that hard for you to be alone in a room with me?
What is it?
This isn't the first time. What's going on?
I'm sick, David.
I have Lou Gehrig's disease.
Who's Lou Gehrig?
He was a baseball player. Had one of the first known cases.
I don't know baseball.
Is it like Parkinson's?
It's a degenerative disease.
It's like Russian roulette.
That could take years.
There must be medication.
What an asshole!
The big boss pulled the plug, Boss.
My boss is you, Boss. Not your boss.
Don't ask me.
There's no signal. I don't understand.
What the fuck?
- Are they still in the garage? - No.
Yes, but there's no signal.
OK. The consulate.
Yes, the bartender kept me in touch. There is hardly anyone left.
We're closed! Don't you have a watch?
Remember me?
I don't know this Lou Gehrig, but he must've been a hell of a player!
Sorry, too soon?
Fuck!
OK, everybody out!
Michel!
Mikey!
I know you're here, Mikey!
OK, easy! Easy there!
Don't make me shoot. Let her go. She didn't know I was a cop!
Shut up! I'm getting out of here, or I slit her throat. Got it?
Let her go, and we'll put our guns down so we can talk.
What kind of idiot do you think I am?
Don't move!
Shut up! I'll bleed her dry, goddammit!
Calm down! Look!
I'm putting down my gun.
Let him go. He'll kill her.
- Put your gun down! - Drop it!
Tell him to drop it!
You fucking psychopath!
Abusive motherfucking pimp!
You won't be grabbing anyone's ass anymore!
OK, two more? What do you think, Martin?
OK, it's over.
Are you all right?
As soon as we're gone, call 911.
- Aren't you the police? - Yes, but no.
- You understand? - No, but yes.
As soon as we leave, call 911.
Tell them someone's been seriously injured. Then get out.
Make sure you're gone before they get here.
You have a boyfriend?
Good. Go to his place and stay there until I call you.
I'll call you when this is all over.
Then you can teach me some of those moves.
Thanks, Jen.
You can't do this, motherfuckers!
What?
Cool, that's a good sign! I knew you'd work it out!
You assholes--
You can shove your deals up your ass!
I know you, Mike.
You're a liar, a thief and a cheat.
All about cash and chicks.
But you're no killer.
You think I'm scared of the police?
You gonna hit me with a phone book if I don't talk?
Look around, you moron. Does this look like a police station?
You think we brought you here to finger paint
and take pictures of your ugly face?
I'll rearrange your face!
My wife!
Hide him! Hide him!
- David? - Hello!
Did I wake you?
It doesn't matter.
What are you doing?
Working.
You have blood on your hand.
Oh, yeah! Would you look at that!
- Is someone with you? - No.
Oh, him? That's just Martin.
Martin! Well, I--
My love, you can't go in the garage.
You'd better not be putting us in danger with your bullshit.
No way!
Trust me!
We'll talk about this later.
Thank you, my love! I love you!
I'm in big trouble.
Come on, Michel!
Don't swallow this! It's bad for your health!
I know where you live! I'll slit your wife's throat!
Or what? You think I'm scared of a few punches in the face?
OK, OK, OK! But it's too late!
There are already 20 cars across the border.
The last batch leaves this morning.
They're all rigged to explode on the same day!
They're mobile bombs! That's it!
Who's delivering the cars?
A bunch of greedy kids. But they won't be back.
They don't know the cars are rigged. They're going to explode with them.
There's no connection between them.
By the time the FBI figures it out, everyone will be gone.
I don't know. I swear I don't know!
All we did was get the cars and handle delivery.
I don't even know when they're set to go off!
All I know is the last batch is leaving this morning at 5:00!
From where?
- From where? - A vacant lot in the east end!
That's all I know, I swear!
Impressive. Especially using a drill with no battery.
Don't call me Michel!
You sure you're OK with this?
It might not go that far.
If plan A doesn't work, we go right to plan B. Got it?
Sounds to me like you have two plan Cs!
Well, well! The strip-club owner is suddenly a mastermind!
Get over your fear of harmless tools
and then apply for a job with the RCMP or the SQ!
But if you're shaking like that...
Well, Michel, our lives are connected.
If something happens, we're both dead.
You guys are fucking nuts.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me. Thank you.
Let's go.
Martin, are you ready?
I found your poodle. Is there a reward?
What a shitty plan!
The cars can't go.
Martin, I've got DiPietro!
Martin, where are you? Can you hear me?
I need help with the kids!
This will hurt, but you need to put direct pressure on it.
Martin, they can see us! It's going to blow!
TABARNAK!
What the fuck?
What?
Get a hold of yourself!
Martin, I understand, but this isn't the time!
He's not dead! There weren't any other explosions!
But I need you now!
Jonathan needs you!
We can't go after your son.
Me too! But we won't find your son before he crosses the border.
The only way to save your son is to stop the cars from exploding.
What part of "emergency" don't you understand?
Are they going to take us seriously now?
I can't take their shitty attitude anymore!
You're lucky my friend's son is caught up in this,
otherwise I'd be at home with my feet up, drinking a beer
and watching the cars blow up live on fucking CNN!
I can't handle them acting like they're king of the world,
as if the Garden of Eden itself was in sunny California!
Sometimes you have to be direct in order to get things moving.
Martin, David, can you hear me? I picked up the signal!
I've got their computer's signal! They reconnected!
I can't hack in, but the tracker is up.
That's impossible, MC.
I have the tracker! It's moving!
It's on the move, but it must be hooked up to a generator.
And don't say a damn word until I call you back.
Oh yeah? You want to meet a real hard head?
- You OK? - Oh yeah!
What?
Without the gun, he wouldn't have given us the car.
Well, maybe.
Yes, Boss!
You should be close.
He just stopped.
Yes, there it goes!
There's plenty of room!
It's tight, but we'll make it.
I knew we'd make it!
Are you crazy?
I'm listening.
No, but I found the GPS coordinates of some of the cars.
I'm on it, Boss!
There's no time to find the cars and disarm them!
We have to get the truck out of signal range.
Submerge it! That's good! But how the fuck do we do that?
I know! We'll call the fire department...
Open up!
I love you, my friend.
Man, those pills are strong!
Martin, don't do this to me!
Oh, sorry!
Police! I need your bike.
- Fuck you, dude! - I'm a cop!
I don't give a shit!
You asshole! This is going on YouTube, pig!
- What's your badge number? - 728!
What's your problem?
You wanna die? You'll have to kill me!
No way! You're my partner!
You want to drive into the river? Fine! Let's drive into the river!
Your French is coming along great!
Immersion really works!
I'm sure the computer system is down now!
NEW YORK MOSQUE
BOSTON MOSQUE
I'll meet you there. We'll split the plane ticket.
Police! Disperse!
"Disperse?" Where do you think you are?
Police! Get the fuck out of the way!
No, no! Fuck!
Don't touch that!
I don't know how!
"Come back straight"? This isn't a freaking scooter!
I know!
Don't touch it! One thing at a time!
It's not that one! You've tried it four times already!
You think it worked?
How can we find out?
SEVEN MONTHS LATER
I wonder which one I am.
Thank you for what you did for our country.
Mister President, it was an honour "tabarnak".
He spoke to me in French!
I bet he didn't even do that for CÃ©line!